#9 Chi Chi LaRue's Raising The Bar

Raising The Bar: 2010

Who watched Obama's DNC speech? Everyone? Hope so, motherfuckers. Obama loves gay people.

That is an entirely blonde Brent Everett you see before you, circa August 2008. What do you think, no good? You know, I've been staring at it for, like, ever now and I don't exactly think it's hideous but it just doesn't do much for his complexion. The dark hair goes much better with his dark features. I will say, though, that ten times worse than this were his frosted tips. What was that? He really tried to make those highlights work. For a long time...

What happens when you mix a group of your closest whorish friends with a fully stocked dive bar and streaming video to your smartphones? If said scenario is directed by Chi Chi LaRue, a lot of fucked up shit can happen. I am constantly introduced to new things I've never before seen in porn in watching her films. And when basing a story on memories and flashbacks, it gives one even more room for versatility. A group of friends at a bar make a bet to see who has the hottest sex filmed using their phones. Honestly, they're all good. First story: ~Reality star~ Steven Daigle fucks the bartender who, surprise, is straight. And, now this is really great, another story follows two guys into a private room in what looks like an S&M bar, where they begin to sniff blow off each other. Now you know I myself am in recovery and haven't taken an 8 ball to the nose is quite some time, but that being said I see nothing wrong in the use of drugs for the sake of art. It's like smoking. Yes it's bad for you, but it sure looks hot on film. I am guilty of glamorizing drug use in stories I've written, hell I've written scenes exactly like this one, in a bathroom, doing lines off each other, then fucking. So essentially, Chi Chi LaRue just matriculated one of my fantasies into reality. Bravo. By the way, I don't know if it was real blow. It sure was messy and didn't look like it got truly snorted. If it was real shit, what a waste lolz. Remember that scene in Less Than Zero? When Jami Gertz pours her coke down the drain?

"Oh, man, what a waste!"

"What a waste...."

"Call a plumber."

God I love that movie. Alright, now down to business. The best was saved for Brent, in my humble opinion. One of the friends goes into his story of how he cruised some guy (Brent) at a sex shop, and the worker watched the whole thing via a security camera, AND jerked off to it. Crazy, right? IT GETS CRAZIER. The whole thing is filmed at Chi Chi LaRue's in WeHo. Look how pretty! How well stocked! And so pink! It's better than Babeland and for sure better than anything here in Boston, even that dump next to The Machine. So much blown glass. And if you're into the marijuana, they've got paraphernalia for that, too. No I've never been (since I'm an East Coast bum) but the day a store opens on this side of the country, I will apply for a job, pronto. 

So, the scene. Mitchell Rock is a big burly top turned big nelly bottom by our own Brent Everett. Who else could do it but Brent? They scope each other out in the store then just walk right into a back room for more privacy. What gall! Even the door is pink. Bless. The backroom there is stalked with sexual goodies but this scene isn't all toys. It's 37 minutes long, that's above average. At one point while Brent sucks off Mitchell he gives the camera a look that made me shiver. His eyes screamed sex. Then he finds, magically, the perfect glass dildo. Yes, that is Brent rubbing a lubed dildo over his nipple. Yes, those are pink labelled water bottles behind him! Have you ever? I have never. What follows is LOUD angry sex, Brent fucks the shit out of Mitchell while the lonely worker (Jason Longh) watches, and jerks. He was my least favorite part of this, I wasn't particularly impressed by him or his load. I also don't care for more than two guys in a scene, though, so he might have just been extra baggage for me. I just tended to forget all about him whilst watching the magic between Brent and Mitchell unfold. Yeah, it's that good.

Rating: A. Buy it. Please don't watch it on a gaytube sight, the quality won't do it any justice.

Next up: Little Big League and Brent Everett's AMAZING baseball playing skills.

#8 Boyland + live webcam last night!

Boyland: 2004

First thing's first: Brent held an impromptu live webcam show last night and it was a raging success. I love these shows for so many reasons, one being I can attack him with as many questions as possible (moreso than I already do via twitter) and he pretty much answers everything. He is very comfortable with his fans, for sure, especially in that chat setting. He really comes alive. One thing I can say for Brent Everett, he makes himself very available to his fans. He's got an email address, a PO box, twitter, a blog, and a live chat. So far I've abused only three of these mediums but I assure you, a fan letter is in the works. I know, poor Brent. The live show was flawless, by the way, Brent was in great spirits and was super hot. Sadly no appearance by Steve but we did see some guy peek out in the background near the end there. Who was that? Fuck buddy? Pizza guy? Hmm, another Brent Everett mystery to be solved another day.

Boyland: "A Unique Theme park." I'll say. This film is about an hour and a half long and is divided into several segments, each taking place in a theme park seemingly catering to the young gay male audience. Clearly, since every ride in the park has guys fucking within. It sounds kind of hokey, but honestly I don't hate this film. For an amateur video it is not bad, and who doesn't like theme parks? They've even got cotton candy! You know what else this film has? A young Jeremy Jordan. YES, that Jeremy Jordan who we saw get fucked to death by Brent in the final scene of Wantin' More. Girl, you could have knocked me over with a feather when I saw him pop up in this, and to think they had him top. What a waste of film.

Brent's scene, aptly titled, "Hook a Husband," comes soon after and begins with him tossing rings onto Chase McKenzie's erect cock. Yes you read that correctly. It is so amusing it makes me forget how much Chase turns me off. He does eventually hook a ring onto that ginger cock and his prize? Well his prize is getting fucked. There's no real thrills here, we've all seen Brent and Chase hook up before, this time Brent bottoms. You know, for as cute as Brent was in the beginning of his career, I think he only gets better with age. This is why I get so confused by people who are still stuck on how amazing he was in School Boy Crush and Barebacking Across America. Forget those and watch Cock Trap, or Sized Up. Your life will never be the same.

Rating: C+

Next Up: something directed by Chi Chi LaRue.